Short Sleeves and Panic Attacks!

And so my friends, the warm weather season is upon us. 
Yes, that means baring arms and legs. And feet and toes. Which means I need to get my mangled feet in gear to look pretty for summer. I hate hate hate that I wear stupid shoes that hurt my feet in the winter just to look "pretty." Not only do the boots (and certain flats!) hurt my feet after awhile, they rub the tops of my toes creating corns. Barf. I know. I also feel like I'm going to get bunions from having shoes rub the sides of my feet. I looooove these flats I own (in 2 colors, no less) and while they aren't "tight", I feel like the elastic side rubs into the side of my foot, creating a blister, which in turn, I feel will eventually lead to a bunion since it makes it look like the side of my foot juts out. I probably should keep my unsightly feet problems to myself, but I am not really caring right now :) I did paint my toes last week, which is embarrassing to admit--I ALWAYS had my toenails painted, no matter what the season and I seriously slacked on that this winter. Could it be related to the fact that it was uncomfortable to bend over for a period of time? Yes. Stupid belly.


Warmer weather also means the baring of arms. I rarely bare my legs, unless I get some color on them first...and that won't happen until mid-summer anyway. But my arms are a different story. When it gets warm enough, who wants to suffer through the day in long sleeves? Not me...BUT, I also hate how fat my arms look (to me anyway) and I hate showing them. I know I say this every year and then somehow I get the confidence to wear tank tops on a daily basis BUT I have to suffer through this intimidation and self-critiquing first. My skin is dry, and I also tend to get "chicken bumps" on the backs of my upper arms, which I always hated. I know I need to exfoliate more in the shower, but it still sucks. In reality, I hate my thighs/legs wayyyyy more than I do my arms, but for right now, it's arm-baring weather and so that is what I shall focus on.


Oh, and to top it off (since I'm critiquing myself anyway), my side-bang that I got back last week gets greasy super fast and I hate that. I like washing my hair every other day (sometimes every 3 days) and these bangs don't allow me to do that without looking like a greaseball for a day. Sigh.


I was bad this weekend. Not so much food-wise but shopping-wise :( I have this horrible spending habit, and this weekend was no different. I cry and stress on a daily basis about the debt I'm in, and then I go out and put an exorbitant amount on my credit card. Shopping makes me feel better, it makes me happy...but I know that is no excuse. If I want to stop wasting hundreds of dollars a month in credit card payments, I need to LOCK up the card, asap. I can't wait for the day that we live together, because I know with us sharing bills, I'll have leftover money that I can splurge with every now and then. But because money is so tight for me on my own (and I know it's not an excuse but still), I use my credit card as a fall-back and get into trouble with it. I did buy some dresses and cute Easter decorations for my house though ;)
But, to avoid future panic attacks, I need to stop. Seriously.


Goals for the week/rest of month:
1) clean downstairs and put Easter decorations up (prob will do this tonight!)
2) update phone and get laptop up and running *dread this one*
3) begin cleaning out of closets! (This, for some reason, I WANT to do and maybe because it's daunting or I'm lazy, I just don't make the time for)
4) Donate clothing to a good cause, like a women's shelter
5) exercise more and take advantage of nice weather
6) clean windows so that I can open them and enjoy the breeze without worrying about bugs/dirt 
7) Figure out possible career path that would make me happy 


and yeah, I think that's it for now. Jaimi will be happy to see I am back on track with MFP and will continue to log my calories/exercise. I'm meeting Mom at another park tonight, so I'm excited! Then I'll make dinner and hopefully do my decorations/catch up on this weekend's TV shows. Despite mini panic attack/anxiety about money, I'm feeling good!