A is for Accomplished

Ok, so I know to most this might not be a "real" accomplishment BUT for me, it was on my list and it took me 3 hours last night so I'm calling it one.

I did it.

I updated my phone FINALLY to iSO5. Woop!

My phone has SO many pictures, all of which I treasure and it was a major issue of space when I went to update it months ago. And as we all know, procrastination at it's finest leads to time passing by and, well...here I am like 3 months later and still using the old software. So, now I can finally join the rest of the apple world and enjoy iMessage and iCloud. Ahhh, relief. 

That's about all I have going on right now. I was up late doing that last night, so I'm pretty beat today. I have been sticking with my calories today, and fingers crossed I don't go over at dinner. That's where I struggle. I can do just fine during my day at work (although I still need to up my water intake--4 cups is pathetic!) but then it's like I go home and make a nice meal and....overindulge. Or perhaps I just like Hamburger Helper more than I like sticking within my caloric range?? ;)

Mom and I have walked both Monday and Tuesday of this week, which is ramping me up for the April challenge I am participating in, which requires 30 mins of walking a day. Kind of nervous I will let myself down and talk myself out of it some nights, but so far, so good this week.  I'd really only be letting down myself, and that's what I have to remember.

I am having mini anxiety issues about how I will look for this wedding on Friday. I could not for the life of me find silver shoes for my dress (and I am really debating between 2 dresses) and so I bought a pair (that are cute but not exactly what I wanted?) at Payless just because I was there and was tired of searching. And I'm not exactly sure how they will pair with the dress. I think I convinced myself they'd look amazing but it was because I was short on time and options. I don't know. I don't wanna wear open toed shoes cuz I'd rather wear pantyhose, and yet all the shoes I have or found are open. So....no pantyhose. I HATE hate hate my legs, mainly due to my veins and cellulite and the one dress is a tad longer so hopefully it hides some of it. I don't know. I worry too much. I'm just a stickler for matching and looking nice and I hate when I have a vision of how I thought I'd look and it doesn't match up to what I really look like in the end. But...it's just a wedding. It's not MY wedding and I need to chill. I just also really wish I wasn't broke and could have afforded some Spanx for this event, but now that I know the (cheaper) kind to look for, I will be sure to grab them up for next time (which, coincidentally is in June for my cousin's wedding and I intend to look FAB!)

Anyway, that's all. Happy hump day. Hope all is well out there in the world!

ready to pitch a TENT!

April is almost here and for me and my family, that means one thing:
CAMPING season!!! 
(yes, I am a dork who gets uber excited to go camping).


This little fact seems to surprise many people. Why? you might ask. Well, to anyone who knows me, I appear to be a 'girly girl.' I love make-up and rarely ever leave the house without it ( NO, I am a Barbie who CAN'T go without it, I just don't like my skin and therefore choose to cover it up when at all possible..leave me alone). However, if I am being lazy or I am heading outside to walk, work-out, etc I can go without it. But let's just say at other times, I like to look presentable, if possible. And by that I just mean I slap some make-up on and my hair is straightened--nothing fancy.


So, knowing that about me, it shocks some people that I can camp and be outdoors in the typically make-up free world. Yes, the wilderness and I get along quite well, thank you! I can camp in a tent or camper, but if it's my mom and I going, we use the camper. I still have to trek it to the bathhouse or cop a squat in the woods (let's be real and say I prefer to use a toilet when at ALL possible), and I don't wear make-up. Or generally wash my hair for the 2 days we're there. Scary image? Maybe, but I love me some camping. There is something peaceful about having a campfire, being in sweats and reading your favorite book. We cook hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire, take walks, eat soup and RELAX. We might only be an hour or two from home, but it feels so far removed. It's peaceful. I thoroughly enjoy my time there because it's leisurely and carefree, both of which I crave. Not to mention I get some time with my momma, which is always the best! :)


I have been looking up new campgrounds to try, and actually found one in an area of PA we like that could be an option. My dad tends to get restless and can't fully 'relax' when he's there, so he likes to have a town nearby that he can explore..which means if he goes, Will will end up being his buddy and Mom and I can do our thing (we're both readers and have NO problem sitting by the fire all day). And with Memorial Day coming, a lot of campgrounds open up their pools and you can get a tan (not that I enjoy the prospect of being seen in a bathing suit anytime soon....*winces*). But anyway, I'm excited. We have a tentative trip planned for April and another in May with Will's family. YAY for this time of year!!


No other news to report at the moment. Still trying to get myself together for the wedding on Friday. I am also failing in my attempt to drink more water, but I'm trying to be more conscious of it today. We'll see how that goes...


Hope we're all having an awesome Tuesday. Wishing my twin a great trip this week! Have fun Jaim!


xxoo

Must...drink.....water....

I really fail at drinking my daily quota of water. I always start off strong, and then somewhere in the haze of the day, I stop drinking. I think I maybe get 6 cups a day? which is kind of pathetic. So, I plan to drink at least double that, no matter how tough it is (and really, how tough is it to drink water?! I just hate having to pee every 10 minutes!)


How was your weekend? Mine was good, if busy. Will took me to Stewarts drive-in Friday night, which for those of you who don't live in the area, it's a little drive-in where you eat in your car and cute boys come to take your order and bring you your tray, lol. They make Stewart's root beer and other varieties of soda, if you've ever seen the bottles. So that was delicious, and then we went to the mall and did some birthday shopping for his niece and sister. Saturday, we cleaned out all the window tracks so that I can open the windows and have fresh air come in, WITHOUT dirt and bugs being in the windowsill---so that was a relief. I also dusted my bedroom, ran the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen floor...so I felt progress was made. All my spring decor is out, so I feel ready for spring finally :)


We had a family dinner at his sister's Saturday afternoon, which was nice. I enjoy the fact that I get along so well with his family, which is a first for me in a relationship. His parents are still married (ALL of my exes came from broken homes, many of which had estranged family members) and that makes a HUGE world of difference. I am glad we both come from loving families with happily married parents. He has 3 older sisters, all of which I adore, and a twin brother (fraternal, not identical) and it's just a nice, big family that I hope one day to be a part of.


That night, we had a surprise party for my cousin, who turned 30 this past week. It was fun to see her and other family members and friends from high school. She and I are close, and we share a lot of the same friends, which is cool. I overindulged on food/drinks/cake that night (including a late night stop at Wawa for a hoagie and Doritos...yikes) but plan to get back on track this week. 


We went bowling with my parents yesterday afternoon, which was awesome. Turns out I'm kind of a natural at bowling! It was amazing. I am SO not athletic and it was fun to actually be good at something without having to try! (And I beat Will 2 out of 3 games, hehe). 


So yeah, that was my wonderful weekend. I have a short week this week, because we have a wedding friday evening, so I took the day off from work to be able to get a mani/pedi done AND my mom is treating me to an updo (since I royally suck at doing anything remotely more challenging than straightening my hair..haha). So, I'm excited for that and I'm just hoping I don't feel extra chubby in my dress...I know I haven't been super diligent about working out, so I have no one to blame but myself. I AM going to do the Jillian Michaels DVD again tonight (dreeeeeading it) and start walking in preparation for the month of April! Going to do my twin's challenge of walking 3o mins a day for the whole month! I must admit, I'm kind of excited to accomplish something and know that I will make it a priority since I committed myself. 


Here's to a healthy start to spring!!
Now, if I can only force down this water.....  ;)

Slack Much?!

Yes, I'm a slacker.
Yes, I didn't feel like writing.
Yes, I'm in a mood.


I don't know what is up with me lately. I've been feeling high and low, happy and sad. I feel like I'm floating along, carefree and fun-loving and then WHACK! Reality brings me back to focus.


I don't really have anything 'wrong' per se....unless you count catching a reflection of your thunder thighs in the mirror and realizing they're worse than you thought they were...much, much worse. Or that there seems to be a stye forming on my left eyelid (or at the very least, a painful, sore pimple). My forehead is still dry and flakey, no matter how much moisturizer I put on and I can't get rid of the scars from my perfume incident (for those who don't know, back at Christmastime, I used a cheap, dollar store type perfume--in my defense, I was out of my Juicy perfume and needed to wait until I got some as a Christmas present, so poor Will thought he was helping and got me a knock-off of a Britney Spears perfume..hey, it smelled good!--but when I sprayed it on, anywhere it touched broke out, including the side of my face, and it took FOREVER and a day to heal and left me with scars, yay!)


So, let's just say, what I see in the mirror doesn't please me.


And yes, I am aware that it is ME and only ME that can make myself feel better. I can work out, I can make it a point to drink a lot more water than I do, etc etc..the list goes on and on. I just feel...gross. I hate my skin, I hate the problems I have with it (anyone know anything about verruca plana?), I hate how lumpy and bumpy my body has become...OH, and I have an ache in the back of my knee right where an extremely visible vein is and I think that's a sign that it will go vericose :( I probably sound like a hypochondriac or whatever, but with my luck, it's bound to happen. The vein is SUPER visible and travels from behind my knee up the back of my thigh. I know some people probably wouldn't notice it or point it out, but to me, I feel like everyone's eyes zoom right in to it. It makes me not want to wear dresses or shorts--things I used to (back in high school) wear with no problem! I was a stick back then...I didn't have VEIN issues at all!! Is this a sign I'm getting old?? Yes, Jaime, it is.


Sigh. Ok, pity kick is over. Sorry. I don't know why I let my own issues get the best of me. I think I'm just extra cranky from having to work late last night. I was here almost 2 hours late, we were so busy! I know it's overtime and all, but even that barely helps. Waaaaah. I know. I need to stop spending so much on clothes and shoes and start SAVING!


Things always sound better when you write them out. Now if only they would stick! :)


Hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday and that they enjoy their weekend. It's going to be rainy here, apparently. How fitting...

My twinny twin twin!

Morning bloggerworld!


Just wanted to write a quick post to my twin to say good luck with her wisdom teeth today! I know she is very nervous about the pain and sticking to her healthy eating, but I have utmost faith she will be just fine and manage to keep herself in line!! I'm here if you need anything Jaim <3


I'm sure I'll write more later, but just wanted to get that out before I forgot..


xxoo

Short Sleeves and Panic Attacks!

And so my friends, the warm weather season is upon us. 
Yes, that means baring arms and legs. And feet and toes. Which means I need to get my mangled feet in gear to look pretty for summer. I hate hate hate that I wear stupid shoes that hurt my feet in the winter just to look "pretty." Not only do the boots (and certain flats!) hurt my feet after awhile, they rub the tops of my toes creating corns. Barf. I know. I also feel like I'm going to get bunions from having shoes rub the sides of my feet. I looooove these flats I own (in 2 colors, no less) and while they aren't "tight", I feel like the elastic side rubs into the side of my foot, creating a blister, which in turn, I feel will eventually lead to a bunion since it makes it look like the side of my foot juts out. I probably should keep my unsightly feet problems to myself, but I am not really caring right now :) I did paint my toes last week, which is embarrassing to admit--I ALWAYS had my toenails painted, no matter what the season and I seriously slacked on that this winter. Could it be related to the fact that it was uncomfortable to bend over for a period of time? Yes. Stupid belly.


Warmer weather also means the baring of arms. I rarely bare my legs, unless I get some color on them first...and that won't happen until mid-summer anyway. But my arms are a different story. When it gets warm enough, who wants to suffer through the day in long sleeves? Not me...BUT, I also hate how fat my arms look (to me anyway) and I hate showing them. I know I say this every year and then somehow I get the confidence to wear tank tops on a daily basis BUT I have to suffer through this intimidation and self-critiquing first. My skin is dry, and I also tend to get "chicken bumps" on the backs of my upper arms, which I always hated. I know I need to exfoliate more in the shower, but it still sucks. In reality, I hate my thighs/legs wayyyyy more than I do my arms, but for right now, it's arm-baring weather and so that is what I shall focus on.


Oh, and to top it off (since I'm critiquing myself anyway), my side-bang that I got back last week gets greasy super fast and I hate that. I like washing my hair every other day (sometimes every 3 days) and these bangs don't allow me to do that without looking like a greaseball for a day. Sigh.


I was bad this weekend. Not so much food-wise but shopping-wise :( I have this horrible spending habit, and this weekend was no different. I cry and stress on a daily basis about the debt I'm in, and then I go out and put an exorbitant amount on my credit card. Shopping makes me feel better, it makes me happy...but I know that is no excuse. If I want to stop wasting hundreds of dollars a month in credit card payments, I need to LOCK up the card, asap. I can't wait for the day that we live together, because I know with us sharing bills, I'll have leftover money that I can splurge with every now and then. But because money is so tight for me on my own (and I know it's not an excuse but still), I use my credit card as a fall-back and get into trouble with it. I did buy some dresses and cute Easter decorations for my house though ;)
But, to avoid future panic attacks, I need to stop. Seriously.


Goals for the week/rest of month:
1) clean downstairs and put Easter decorations up (prob will do this tonight!)
2) update phone and get laptop up and running *dread this one*
3) begin cleaning out of closets! (This, for some reason, I WANT to do and maybe because it's daunting or I'm lazy, I just don't make the time for)
4) Donate clothing to a good cause, like a women's shelter
5) exercise more and take advantage of nice weather
6) clean windows so that I can open them and enjoy the breeze without worrying about bugs/dirt 
7) Figure out possible career path that would make me happy 


and yeah, I think that's it for now. Jaimi will be happy to see I am back on track with MFP and will continue to log my calories/exercise. I'm meeting Mom at another park tonight, so I'm excited! Then I'll make dinner and hopefully do my decorations/catch up on this weekend's TV shows. Despite mini panic attack/anxiety about money, I'm feeling good!

Chapped Lips & March Madness

Yep, my lips are chapped. I put chapstick on, I lather them up before bed, and still...they become dry and chapped. Thanks a lot, lips! You are my pride and joy and yet you rebel against me....sigh.


I'm having a craptastic Friday so far. That sounded snarky, I apologize. But when your day starts off with you forgetting your breakfast and dropping your sweater in a puddle, it's bound to happen! So..it is what it is. I am feeling slightly more chipper as the day goes on, but 1) I'm still at work for another 4 hours and 2) I'm hungry. I ate a pop-tart for breakfast, which I looooove but I limit myself to 1, since 2 of those suckers has a whopping 400 calories! (See, I am learning to control myself). Will offered me a heavenly red velvet cake muffin from Wawa this morning but ever since I discovered they have a horrific 700 calories to them, I try and steer clear (Key word is TRY). I might let myself indulge on a weekend, but not today. Especially since I am going to have a major calorie fest at my friend's tomorrow for St. Patty's, it's best I limit myself today. Baby steps, Jaim. Baby steps.


Every guy is going nuts over March Madness. Will even took off today to go out and watch the games! Must be nice. But, I get that it's a guy thing and they enjoy their games. I plan to enjoy mine come next weekend when I *hopefully* go and see the Hunger Games!! I hope it lives up to the books. Movies rarely do, but I still hold out hope.


I am feeling sassy today. I usually have some type of sass going on on a daily basis, but today I feel a smidgen extra. I also feel a bit down in the dumps, which is a weird combo. Not sure what I have to be down about, but nonetheless, the feeling is there. I think I am realizing I am a bit too sensitive sometimes, and I can completely take something to heart when it's nothing and I shouldn't. I feel let down by people a lot, and I hate that. I do my best not to let others down, but I'm realistic--I know it happens from time to time. I just hate when people do it to me. I canceled on a friend tonight because I'd rather have a pity party night in to myself (the plans were loosely made, but I still feel bad) and she probably feels let down by me but I justify it. Clearly I have issues. haha. I don't know what's going on with me. It's a friday, it's the beginning of a relaxing weekend, and yet I can't get rid of this nagging downer. 


It probably relates to my total lack of exercise this week. I walked with Mom last night but that was it ALL week. Pathetic. I want to look awesome come summertime and yet I make no effort. Only person I can blame is the one I see in the mirror!
But...I am logging my calories and trying my darndest to stay within range. I am also taking care of appointments that needed to be made, and having a list of things to accomplish helps. 


Anyway, I should go before this blog ends up even more depressing than it already sounds (to me). Hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday (without chapped lips!!)