It's here.

30 has grabbed me. Not much I can really say about it, since I don't technically FEEL any different but...there's something lurking in my mind that I can't quite grasp hold of long enough to figure out what it is. Whatever it is, it's sort of making me feel down?? But I'm not quite sure why.

It's been different at work this year, working on my birthday. Now that I'm in my new department, I don't feel as "close" to people, or like anyone really knows me for that matter. Not one person has outright said "Happy birthday!" to me back here, and it's sort of depressing. Yes, people have messaged me on Facebook, or sent me a text and whatnot, but there's something about "extras" on your birthday--while you work--that make it more enjoyable. I used to come in to a decorated desk and a birthday breakfast "treat" and so far, there's been none. Nothing. Zilch. And this is a milestone birthday to boot! I shouldn't act like a drama queen, because one friend did get me lunch a cake yesterday (she's out today) but I guess I thought someone would step up today...kind of depressing when you realize no one has.

I guess this is 30. I'm grateful that Will is taking me out tonight for dinner so that I have at least one highlight tonight!

I have high hopes this decade will top my last. Here's to 30?? haha....

Is it me?

...or am I the only one who feels like the blogs I read are written by my friends? haha, that probably made no sense but what I'm trying to say is...that if I read your blog (especially if I've gone back in your wonderful archives and read it from the beginning) on a consistent (ok, everyday!) basis, then I feel like we're friends. You don't know me, nor will you ever (probably), but I feel like if I'm investing my time in your words, then somehow, sort of, we're..friends. Is that so unrealistic?! hahaha. I sound like a nut job but it's true. Granted, I gravitate towards blogs whose 'voices' sound like me and my friends, and that's only natural since I want to be friends with cool people but it's probably really ridiculous that I feel connected to these people when they don't even know me.

Either way, it's a true statement on my part. Let the record show that I care about these bloggers, and when they stop writing for long periods of time, or they appear to be going through some tough issues, I care. I sympathize. I miss them during their absences, even if they will never know it. I have a routine list of blogs I check each day or week, depending how how busy I am at work, and I truly enjoy getting to experience their lives through their eyes. I feel like there are so many cool people out there in this world, and this is just my small way of getting to "know" a few of them.

I wonder if Sheryl is ok (since she doesn't know if she will post ever again and her recent blog posts have all been deleted as far back as 2007 :-/ ) and I want Lauren to know that I've been in her position, and I admire her guts for moving across the country for a fresh start. So many of these women have qualities that I admire, and I guess this is my way of letting them know, even if they won't see this.

This post is pretty much pointless, except to emphasize the fact that I love my blogs and bloggers, and even if we're not "real" friends (or even acquaintances), I still care and look forward to your posts.

And so 2013 has arrived.

Happy New Year to my few followers and blog readers! Haha, I find it funny that I complained in my last post about bloggers falling off the face of the earth and then I go and do the same thing!
But, my motivation and desire to write had been waning...and let's face it, no one is reading this anyway :)

So yeah. 2013 and all that crap. It's here. This year, I didn't make any special resolutions, because clearly I suffer from ADD and don't ever follow through on any of them. Let's just say that I want to lose some weight (as always), become smarter (as if I can read any more books! I just keep buying and buying and reading and reading...love it), experience new things, whether it's a new job, new travels, or just new food (because we all know eating is my #1 past time--refer to pseudo-resolution #1 about losing weight!), and just be happy. I'd like to say that I will get engaged this year (since that seems to be the topic of discussion for EVERYONE in my friends and family) and plan a wedding, but we all know that women don't hold that power in the universe and will forever be waiting on a man for that special moment ;) But, I have faith in Will. He knows what's good for him...LOL.

I actually took off this year for the holidays and had 11 straight days off. It was HEAVEN! Did I clean out my closets like I planned, you ask?
No. *Ashamed face*
Did I instead catch up on Dexter with April like I had planned?
No. *Double ashamed face*

So what DID I do with all this time off? Well, clearly shopping was a given (Will even participated this time, encouraging my habit since he was SO grateful I used my Christmas bonus to buy him an iPad mini...lolz). I also saw the Hobbit (loved!), ate at various restaurants to satisfy my hunger habit, and spent time with my family. It was really nice.

Was I depressed to wake up for work this morning? You betcha. I'm still in denial that I am actually at this desk, typing with these fingers, when they should be wrapped around a pint of ice cream and a glass of wine. But, what will be, will be I suppose :-/

New developments on the job front though. Nothing I want to talk about just yet (and it's not even anything crazy exciting that makes me want to pee myself so don't pee yourself over there either!) but it's news. And any news is good news...right? RIGHT! (says the super positive Jaime of 2013...I kid, I kid. Sarcasm is still full force, don't worry guys).

Anyway, that's about all I have to say at the moment. I hope 2013 is all we hope for, and more!
Xo.

I Disappeared.

...as did some of my other bloggers. I miss your entries (and yes, I stalk all my blogs daily, salivating for updates!) It's ok. You're letting me down, but that just means you all have a life (and clearly, I don't).

I still have money issues. I still keep going crazy spending when I shouldn't. But, I like the rush of endorphins, what can I say? (and the new clothes and shoes piling up in my closet). I need to control myself.

I had a great time on vacation. I always get that really sad, post-vaca depression and it's still hanging on a bit. I think I am just sad in general. I want so many things that seem out of reach, and yet I'm not making moves. Whose fault is that? This girl's. I want to become a grown-up and yet I insist on acting like a little girl, scared of the unknown. It's pathetic and lazy and I'm mad at myself.

But other than that, life is peachy. And peaches remind me of orange, which reminds me of fall and I am SO happy that fall is on it's way in! I love the clothes, the smell in the air, the pumpkin flavored items assaulting me in the stores and coffee shops (bad for my so-called diet, I know). I have become strangely obsessed with buying clothing that are burnt orange colored, and I am also buying items that are, shall we say, 'classier' than I am used to, like I am all of a sudden going to start dressing up for work (for those who don't know, jeans and whatever else we feel like wearing is standard at my job. Nice, but not so "adult"). I am just on a quest to embrace fall, I guess.

Another wedding next week. I have these last 3 and then I am done! (for now).

Oh, and I cut my hair to my collarbone, did I mention that? I am LOVING IT. I also had some caramel peekaboo highlights added, which has been just the right amount of spice for my otherwise boring hair. A new cut AND color is craziness for me!!

Alright, I am boring myself so I know I am boring ya'll. Talk later.

I might cry.

Ok, so not really. Well...maybe. But I do feel like it, sorta.

I am just stressed. WHY, oh why, does life revolve around money? I never dreamed that life would be so hard because of some damn paper! It's ridiculous. I'm an adult, I own my own place, I'm "grown up" and yet my life constantly revolves around securing that green paper (of which I don't get paid enough, mind you). I just hate that I always feel like it's a struggle, an uphill battle. Some months are easier than others granted, but right now it's insane. Weddings on top of weddings, birthdays, holidays, trips, VACATION this weekend..ugh. Saving for that alone has been a nightmare and even now I am not properly prepared. I just want to have a fun, stress-free week and yet my stomach is in knots over whether I'll be able to afford all the fun things we want to do.

Sigh. I know this is accomplishing nothing but it makes me feel better to get it out. I haven't actually written in awhile, so it felt good. Or as good as it can to just write some words and still have no solution. Ha...ha...

I have a spending problem and I know it. I buy things to make myself happy and to make others happy. I wish people were as generous as I am (no wait, I'm serious!) True, other people might be more sensible than I am, but I want what I want and life is too short..or so they always say. Still, I know it catches up and bills come due and it's not fun and games anymore. I get that, believe me I do. And I know I need to be pro-active about finding another job, a job that doesn't pay me in Monopoly money (ok, so my job doesn't ACTUALLY pay me in children's money but their salaries here are child-like as in 'this must be a joke, right?') but I HATE the fact that I don't know what would make me happy. I have no idea what type of job to even search for, seeing as I have NO idea what I could endure day in and day out without wanting to kill myself. I love writing, and while I have "started" to write my own novel, that is years in the making and there is no immediate gratification. I just am at a loss right now, wallowing in my own pity.

Sad but true.

Maybe tomorrow will be on a more positive note.

July Foodie Penpals!

Yes, I know. It's been like 2000 years since I last wrote, but here I am again to reveal some amazing treats from yet another penpal. I can't thank Lindsay enough for setting up this program! It seriously is SO fun, and I seriously act like a 4th grader anticipating my box of goodies. I regret that I am not going to be able to participate for the month of August (I go on vacation the week the boxes are sent and received, and I wouldn't want my box of deliciousness sitting out front of my house for my neighbor to steal. Or having it melt). So, I will re-join in September and from then on, I'm set!

So, let's get to it, shall we?

This month, I'd like to thank Alyssa for sending me my treats! Alyssa is a fellow blogger who actually doesn't live too far from me (we're Facebook friends now, woot woot!) and was kind enough to send me some of her favorite snacks.

Alyssa included some crackers (which I am now obsessed with because I love ANYTHING almond), some fruit & but trail mix (which I have already consumed in like 3 sittings...can I have some more? haha) and some blueberry muffin oatmeal, which I have brought to work with me and am just dying to try!

Here is a better shot of everything all at once. She included a super sweet handwritten card (love the stationary) too, which I love! I'm such a sucker for anything handwritten--it's so much nicer than an email, ya know? Oh, and that water she sent me (that she enjoys after a workout) will be used tonight after I exercise! I love flavored waters that help restore electrolytes and all that jazz, so that is awesome that she thought to include it for me to try it!

And yes, I saved my favorite shot for last. In addition to my (unhealthy) obsession with anything almond-related, she also included some CHOCOLATE for me (and as a sidenote, you are super sweet for sending dairy, nut & soy free products--you never know what people's food requirements are!). I haven't tried either of them yet (i've been saving them for the weekend, haha) but I can't wait. Anything chocolatey (and with a crisp of rice!) is heaven and I am beyond excited.

If any of you who happen to stumble across my page are interested in hearing about the program, here's some info direct from Lindsay's blog:

Here’s a detailed explanation of the program:

-On the 5th of the month, you will receive your penpal pairing via email. It will be your responsibility to contact your penpal and get their mailing address and any other information you might need like allergies or dietary restrictions.
-You will have until the 15th of the month to put your box of goodies in the mail. On the last day of the month, you will post about the goodies you received from your penpal!
-The boxes are to be filled with fun foodie things, local food items or even homemade treats! The spending limit is $15. The box must also include something written. This can be anything from a note explaining what’s in the box, to a fun recipe…use your imagination!
-You are responsible for figuring out the best way to ship your items depending on their size and how fragile they are. (Don’t forget about flat rate boxes!)
-Foodie Penpals is open to blog readers as well as bloggers. If you’re a reader and you get paired with a blogger, you can choose to write a short guest post for your penpal to post on their blog about what you received. If two readers are paired together, neither needs to worry about writing a post for that month.
- Foodie Penpals is open to US, Canadian residents & UK residents. 

So with that being said, I hope my penpal for this month, Crystal, enjoys her box of treats and I look forward to joining the yumminess again in September! Happy (and healthy) eating everyone!! :)

June Foodie Penpals Reveal!

Ok, so I know I am 2 days late on this but I wasn't able to post this weekend. I swear.

That being said, let's get right into it!

I want to thank my (first ever) penpal, Jennifer from Peanut Butter and Peppers! She was generous enough to send me some AMAZING items that she loves and enjoys out in California :) I could not WAIT to get home and open the box as soon as she told me she had overnighted it.

As I told her, there are not many things that I do not love (with the exception of shellfish and onions, but I assumed she would not be sending those in the mail to me, LOL). She did an excellent job of sending me not only sweets but, get this--BREAD! I LOVE SOURDOUGH BREAD and this precious gem of a woman sent me not one, but 2 loaves of it! I was in heaven.

She also sent some balsamic glaze, some garlic and balsamic jam (yes, I love balsamic--I think she's a mind reader :) lol), a cherry cobbler luna bar (cherry pie/cobbler/anything is my fave dessert...2 more points for Jennifer!!), a packet of honey peanut butter...oh, and see that bag that says "nutty bits" up there? That was seriously the best thing ever. I had never had them, but it's pretty much a bunch of my fave nuts dipped in chocolate, topped with sea salt and is a piece of heaven in your  mouth. LOVED IT ALL!!

All in all, I could not have been happier with my first experience with Foodie Penpals. Jennifer has an amazing weight loss story, gives others (like myself) courage and inspiration, and allowed me to enjoy some foods I normally never would have :) Thanks again, Jennifer! Make sure to check out her blog for some awesome tips and recipes!

If anyone wants to join the penpal program, head on over to Linday's blog at the Lean Green Bean. It's awesome and I seriously cannot wait for this month's exchange!
Here's some info on it:
-On the 5th of the month, you will receive your penpal pairing via email. It will be your responsibility to contact your penpal and get their mailing address and any other information you might need like allergies or dietary restrictions.
-You will have until the 15th of the month to put your box of goodies in the mail. On the last day of the month, you will post about the goodies you received from your penpal!
-The boxes are to be filled with fun foodie things, local food items or even homemade treats! The spending limit is $15. The box must also include something written. This can be anything from a note explaining what’s in the box, to a fun recipe…use your imagination!
-You are responsible for figuring out the best way to ship your items depending on their size and how fragile they are. (Don’t forget about flat rate boxes!)
-Foodie Penpals is open to blog readers as well as bloggers. If you’re a reader and you get paired with a blogger, you can choose to write a short guest post for your penpal to post on their blog about what you received. If two readers are paired together, neither needs to worry about writing a post for that month.
- Foodie Penpals is open to US, Canadian residents & UK residents.  Please note, Canadian Residents will be paired with other Canadians only. We’ve determined things might get too slow and backed up if we’re trying to send foods through customs across the border from US to Canada and vice versa. So, I’m going to keep two separate lists and match US w/ US and Canada w/ Canada!


So, do yourself a favor and head over there and sign up. You won't regret it!! :-D


(also, head on over to my new friend  Tianna's blog, which describes what I mailed to her as my penpal! I love making new friends!)